Saturday, November 28, 2009

recurring sickness

Nitong nakaraang mga buwan, palagi na lang ako may sipon at ubo at madalas mabigat ang pakiramdam. Hindi naman ako ganito noong high school ako at college. Sa bahay, ako ang huling nadadapuan ng karamdaman. Mahilig kasi ako sa citrus fruits at madalas ako uminom ng vitamin C. Sa totoo lang, ginagawa ko talaga iyon para lumakas ako at hindi dapuan ng sakit. Ayaw ko kasi talaga ng pakiramdam ng may sakit. Ayaw ko ng nalilimitahan ako sa mga gusto ko at dapat kong gawin, kaya pinagbubuti ko ang pagpapalakas sa sarili ko. Pero ngayon, parang hindi ko na ata kakayanin. Ito ata ang bunga ng madalas na pagpupuyat at pagtratrabaho sa night shift. Pinipigilan din nito na makasama ako sa aking mga kaibigan. Hay...Ayaw ko na! +(

Friday, November 20, 2009

Quote for the day:

"God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”
--- Reggie White

I hope that this quote can explain what is happening to me right now. I am undergoing a really hard time and experience which test my patience, perseverance, determination, attitude and outlook in life. I know God is doing this not only for His purpose but also for my good. And I know that whatever my goals are or what my heart really wants will be blessed and granted by the Lord.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

on books & reading

Quote for the day:

"Being busy does not necessarily mean you are making progress. Take time to think about your goals in life. Is what you are doing contributing to reaching your goal? Think about it."

- from May's Facebook status message

The office pantry suddenly looked like a bookstore when I arrived this evening. There is a Scholastic book sale (which seems to be more appropriate in an elementary school lobby), which sells books ranging from Twilight to Pride & Prejudice.

I was thinking of buying Great Expectations by Charles Dickens or Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen, or rather the "second" book of Lois Lowry. However, our bookshelves suddenly flashed into my thoughts. I imagined those pocketbooks in our bookshelves shrieking and crying out to me, vying for my attention. They want me to finish them first before buying a new one.

Alice Through the Looking Glass: Hey, you have begun reading me but did not finish me! You're done with Alice in Wonderland but how about me?
Cane River: I was a gift to you by a friend two years ago. On my front cover, it tells you that I am an award-winning book so I am worth reading.
The Joy Luck Club: You have already checked out the reviews about me and asked your bookworm friends if I am a good book or not. They all gave a positive response. So what are you waiting for? Start reading me now!
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein: You were amazed by the movie right? Why not try the book? You know what people say, the book is better than the movie.
A Christmas Carol: Psst! Christmas is near, what a timely reading I sure am!
******
A former officemate once told me to go back to reading if I have time. He mentioned book titles that are really great and are worth reading. He read those when he was just in highschool.
Unfortunately, I have not read any of those he had mentioned. Why? Aside from lack of time, I was just oriented into reading novels when I wast in my last years in highschool, around 3rd year to fourth year. The Cleverest Person in the World by Norman Whitney, I think, was the first novel that I had read. It was really a fun read. Since then, I got into reading novels.
*******
I hope to have more time reading (or is it just a matter of time management?) & it would be an achievement if I could widen the range of my leisure reading materials and not just stick to famous novels, Reader's Digest and Sunday bulletin. And it would be terrific if I can read fast so I can read more books, moreover, a very retentive memory to remember all that I have read and the wonderful worlds where I was once in.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Love for a Child

by Jason Mraz

There's a picture on my kitchen wall
Looks like Jesus and his friends involved
There's a party getting started in the yard
There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive
Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently
The chemicals weren't mixed properly
You hit your head and then forgot your name
And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain
And now your altitude and memory's a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles
Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass
Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around
Well I'm far too old to care about that now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

It was all about love...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

let go and let live

Today, I learned a very important lesson. That is to let go and let live.

I used to be a control freak. I always want to have a control on things, and sadly but not frequently, on people. I always want to make sure that everything is alright and everything and everyone goes according to my plan. I hate anything unpredictable. I hate guessing what's next.

I do not know why I came up to be like that. Perhaps, that is one of the most common "first-born syndromes". It felt like the responsibility of keeping things smooth-sailing in the long-run is on me which might be a source of my early years-frustrations.

But just this afternoon, I learned to breathe and relax. I realized that I need to let people as they are (well, of course, not those Filipinos who contribute to the detriment of our country), the things important to them and should not be imposing on others. I need to care for what others may feel and treat everyone as fragile as they can be.

To be peaceful, it is a must to let others be in peace, just like letting a loved one who passed away not to worry about our feelings and accept that they are gone. To enjoy life, I must accept ambiguities and of course, other people's decisions for their OWN lives just like how they have accepted my decisions.

And for this, I express my gratitude to my youngest sister for making me realize what have I been missing in my life.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

An image of the devastation brought by the typhoon Ondoy. I got this photo from the site of the French daily Le Figaro. I extend my sincerest condolences to the families who lost their loved ones because of the typhoon. Putting oneself in their shoes, it can really be heartbreaking.

I remember when I was in first year highschool, it was the last day of October, we also experienced floods (take note: floods) in our place. We were living near a river and one day it rained so hard that the river reached the streets. The water was up to our necks. We barely saved our things.

Fortunately, we had a neighbor living in this large house with a second floor. We, together with our neighbors, stayed there, as far as my memory would allow me, for the rest of the night.

It was really a horrible experience. I remember being very sad because I was not able to save the stationery I collected since grade school. But looking back, we were still very fortunate because we were all safe and sound.

Mais voila! After two days after the first flood, we encountered another flood. But it doesn't compare to what the people experienced with Ondoy. People did not only lose properties but also the lives of their family and relatives. I hope in some way I can ease their pain.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The UP Checklist

I MISSSS UP!
That's why if I have enough time, I make sure to drop by UP, even if it's just for jogging or just to see my former orgmates. And I'll make sure that if I finally have my own camera, it is UP that'll be my first object.:)
And to pay a tribute to my beloved alma mater, I answered a "survey" that can be all about my stay in the state U.

[ ] Worried about getting bullied by fratmen or getting killed in a riot.
[ ] Got bullied by fratmen or was killed in a riot.
[ ] Witnessed a riot.
[✔] Watched the Oblation Run.
[✔] Made friends with a teacher.

[ ] Was tricked as a freshman into attending a rally/prayer meeting.
[✔] Wore red or black on one of those wear red or wear black days.
[ ] Wore red on Valentine’s Day.
[ ] Wore black on Valentine's Day. --hindi naman ako ganun ka-bitter.haha!
[ ] Celebrated a birthday at Mang Jimmy's.
[ ] Learned UP Naming Mahal. -I'll memorize it sometime. Promise!
[ ] Was an RA (registration assistant) or SA.
[ ] Lied or begged to an RA for a slot in class.
[ ] Participated in a there's-only-one-more-slot
-are you-feeling-lucky?
[✔✔✔] Jogged around the campus. - naman! I am for healthy living and I love being around UP during early mornings.

[✔ ] Visited the Vargas Museum. - kahit wala pa ako sa UP, nakapunta na ako rito. Field trip namin nung 3rd year highschool.
[ ] Knew at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name.
[ ✔] Attended university level graduation. -I won't let that "once in a lifetime" opportunity escape me.:)
[ ] Got an activist for a teacher.
[ ] Watched a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game. - wala ako care sa kanila...hahaha

[✔] Watched a UP vs. any school basketball game. on TV -op kors!
[ ] Studied in CASAA.
[✔] Studied in McDonald's or Jollibee Philcoa for one full night and bought just one regular-sized drink.
[ ] Studied along Katipunan.
[ ] Studied along Katipunan and affected the mannerisms of a stereotypical Atenean.

[ ] Watch a play that's not required for Comm III.
[✔ ] Went stargazing.- with ETC people in the middle of Sunken Garden. How I wanted a repeat!:)
[✔] Ate in Chocolate Kiss, Tea Room (in CHE) or Chateau Verde. -sa Chokiss pa lang.
[ ] Slept in the lib.
[ ] Struck up a conversation with a taong grasa.

[ ✔] Wrote to/for the Collegian. - yung sa mga text comments kapag me issues sa kule.hahaha, pero once lang, na-publish naman.=))
[✔ ] Seriously pondered about the identity/ies of the people described in Eksenang Peyups. - at feeling ko nahuhulaan ko ng tama.hahaha
[✔] Went to the chapel. - op kors! Every Sunday.
[ ] Got a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers while walking in Sunken Garden.

[ ] Had a Voltes V for a teacher. - wala akong Math 17
[ ] Took a class under Joseph Palis. - who's that?
[ ] Lied to the transcript lady to get a transcript earlier than the standard 3 months.
[✔] Went to a Freshman-only concert. -yup, nung Freshie ako, malamang, with my Kalai friends.:)
[ ] Subsisted on just streetfood (fishballs, half footlongs, kwekwek, squidballs/rolls, mais, dirty ice cream) for a day.

[ ] Learned how to smoke.
[✔] Went on an out-of-town trip with blockmates or orgmates.
[ ] Fell in love.
[✔] Actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib. - para sa thesis eh hahaha
[ ] Played cards during your free time.

[✔] Dressed in business attire. - pag me event sa org, thesis defense
[ ] Sumabit sa jeep.
[ ] Got sung to or sung to someone in class during Valentine's day.
[✔ ] Watched the Lantern Parade.
[✔] Helped out a total stranger.

[] Helped out a total stranger because he/she was hot.
[✔] Learned to stay awake for more than 24 or 48 hours straight.
[ ] Got bullied by fratmen and feeling cool wannabe people who were actually losers.
[✔] Took Monday and/or Sat classes.-nung Wed. pa yung free day, I took Table Tennis scheduled on Wednesdays.
[ ] Volunteered for the pahinungod.

[ ] Ate "tasteless white sauce" pasta from cock-a-noodle-doo. -Saan yun?
[ ] Got a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] Got held up or pickpocketed.
[✔ ] Felt depressed because you were not as good academically as you were in high school.
[✔] Did a last minute paper. -sa thesis draft.haha

[ ] Had spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures.
[✔] Got exempted from final exams.
[ ] Got exempted from a final exam but still took it.
[✔ ] Attended a varsity pep rally.
[ ] Watched LIVE AIDS, Androgyny, Maskipaps or any well-known variety show.
[ ] Promised to quit smoking.
[✔] Got into at least one (org- or council-sponsored) adventure race. --EURACE
[✔] Knew where the best restrooms are on campus. - Econ restroom.hehe
[✔] Joined an org.
[✔] Allowed yourself to make mistakes. -ayy, hindi lang ako once nagkamali.

[ ] Went to the gym in spite of having no PE class just to ogle varsity players/cute boys/hot girls.
[✔] Took summer classes. -EEEEVVVEEEERRRY SUMMER
[✔] Admired the Oblation.
[✔] Made a video for a project. -STS and French 140
[✔] Had a crush on a teacher. - haha. Si Prof Bamboo ng Bio Dept.

[ ] Had a teacher who had a crush on/tried to court you.
[ ] Attended your ROTC Bivouac.
[ ] Faked sickness to get an absence excused.
[ ] Got your car scratched by one of those "Kuya bantayan ko kotse niyo".
[ ] Took a PE class where you had to pay for tuition.

[✔] Went to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes.- at dahil diyan, inaaway ako ni Sir Baizas.
[✔] Learned how to use the Bayantel pay phones.-for Marketing at para magtawag ng speakers sa talks
[✔] Participated in school activities.-UP Fair (?) at USC Elections
[ ] Caught the UP Pep Tryouts.

[ ] Dated someone from UP.
[✔] Rode an IKOT and TOKI.
[✔] Found a tambayan.
[ ] Went drinking at Sarah's.
[ ] Learned how to beg for a higher grade.

[✔] Used your 6 allowable absences wisely.
[✔] Lived in a dorm.-during my whole stay in UP
[ ] Volunteered to be beadle or go-to guy for your group.
[✔ ] Had the worst schedule. - during my last sem in UP. Got a class from 5:30pm-7pm
[ ] Realized that there really is just one coconut tree on the sunken garden.

[ ✔] Not used up all 6 allowable absences.
[ ] Ate in ISSI, Treehouse, Mama Thai's and other more obscure cafeterias.
[✔] Ate food Aristocart-style.
[✔] Is active in your org/s.
[✔] Attended an ACLE.

[✔] Got as many app forms as you can during the job fair.
[✔] Learned how to cram.
[✔] Sold tickets for (or watched) an org-sponsored movie premiere.
[✔] Saved money to photocopy all of your seatmate's notes.
[] Had accidentally seen a make-out session.

[✔] Slept in class.
[✔] Finished a homework/assignment/paper in the Shopping center or Philcoa.
[ ] Had mountains of "unused" sample exams and/or old testaments.
[✔ ] Resolved to be "better this semester".
[ ] Slept during a test.

[✔] Had groupmates from hell.
[✔] Learned how to work with groupmates from hell.
[ ] Perfected the art of parking on campus.
[ ] Had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus.
[ ] Developed a love for sisig even before UP.

[✔] Practiced those UP cheers in the first meeting for PE class.
[ ] Looked at microfilms in the library or poked through archives.
[✔] Reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function.
[✔] Attended the UP Fair.
[✔] Went to a library other than your own college's to research
[✔] Lost a perfectly functioning umbrella.
[✔] Used consultation hours properly.
[✔] Went to the Guidance Office for real, heart-to-heart guidance.
[✔] Went to the infirmary.
[ ] Attended class with a hangover.
[ ] Drink beer or alcohol while inside UP grounds.

[✔] Walked all the way to Philcoa or Katipunan from UP.-can't forget that!
[ ] Buy frogs from NSRI or a Bio department.
[ ] Maxed out on the 6 allowed unexcused absences but DID NOT drop.
[ ] Got invited or pursued by a sorority or fraternity.
[✔] Wore slippers to school.
[ ] Had a professor who smoked in class.
[ ] Got diagnosed by the Infirmary as pregnant or infected with STD.

Friday, September 18, 2009

"almost two weeks" notice

Ako ay nagbalik...hahahaha


Matagal-tagal din ako hindi nakapag-post dito. Muntik na umabot sa dalawang linggo. Pero sa loob ng maraming araw na yon, ano bang ginawa ko? Hmmm... Bukod sa busy-busyhan sa trabaho, nagbasa-basa rin ako ng blog ng ibang tao, gaya ng blog ni Jim Paredes, Jessica Zafra, ng aking kaibigan na si Chevy at RC at ng isang Spanish expat (?) na si Manolo Perez. Nakakalungkot lang dahil naka-block na ata dito sa office yung site ni Jim Paredes. Magaganda pa naman at masarap basahin ang mga post niya dun kahit na nabasa ko na sa The Philippine Star.
Pero ngayon naaliw ako sa official blog ni Jessica Zafra. Ang dami na kasi niyang post at followers. Nakakaaliw.=)
Sana kasing-galing niya ako magsulat at kasing-ganda ng blog niya yung akin.

**************


Thursday, September 3, 2009

reporter's block

If there's what we call writer's block, then for me, there is "reporter's block."

[Topic! Topic! I need a topic!]

My French class requires each one of us to present a topic in front of the class, any topic that we would like to speak about. Of course, there are conditions: 1). the topic should interest us, 2). it should interest the listeners.

The second condition is the thing that occupies most of my mind for the past days.

What topic would interest two Filipino senior citizens, one Spanish lady in her early twenties, 2 Americans in their mid-twenties, and a French professor in his 30s?

The first topic that occupied my mind is the story of Anne Frank. Maybe because I was just fresh from watching La Vita e Bella which tells of the Nazi occupation in Italy. But I doubt that I know more about it than my listeners, since the majority seem to be older than me. Of course, they know a lot about it [history books, movies, reads].

And then the second one is "Blogs as a literature." But I'm an amateur in the world of blogging so I may not know much about it and I haven't tried blog-hopping. Moreover, I think I have to have a position in that topic and it will be hard for me to defend that in French.
[Ooops... I forgot to tell that we'll be reporting the topic in French.]

Next is Sudoku, but I'm not good at playing it, therefore I might not sound credible.

Then the next one is talking about platypuses. I found those animals interesting and weird so it must be fun to talk about it. But then again, it's weird to talk about platypuses! They might give me an odd look. And if I talk about it, the words that describe it in French are really hard to pronounce. But I want to talk about it but it's really weird.

I'm searching for a topic that would engage the people in those age groups and topic that would stimulate thinking.

AHHHHH!!!

Goodluck to me on Saturday.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009




Ilan pa sa ginawa ko gamit ang MS Paint.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


















Eto ang artworks sa MS Paint ng isang taong frustrated maging graphic artist at sabik na sa Adobe Photoshop.
Sobrang masaya talaga ako kapag ako'y nag-dodrowing, gumagawa ng poster sa Photoshop, nagpipinta ng kung anu-ano sa MS Paint. Eto na ata ang future ko.hahaha
Sa totoo lang, gusto ko talaga kumuha ng course on Multimedia Arts o kaya naman mag-apply dun sa mga maliliit na shops na gumagawa ng mga banner kapag birthday party ng mga bata o kaya yung tiga-gawa ng souvenir designs sa binyag, kasal etc. Ang chaka kasi nung mga nakikita ko..hahahaha [ang salbahe ko]
Kaya nga lang, kulang sa time at sa pera. Ah bahala na, sabi nga nila, "Kung gusto, may paraan, kung ayaw, may dahilan." In the meantime, pagbubutihin ko na muna ang MS Paint skills ko.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

For the common good

Are we worthy of our heroes?

08/21/09

By Senator Richard Gordon

The question remains, are we worthy? In this day and age, in spite of all the martyrdom of many of our heroes, it would appear that we have not learned our lessons.

Corruption is still upon us; our military die and rebels die in war; there seems to be untrammeled assassinations in our country; motorcycle assassins abound; many mayors, many journalists, many politicians have been killed; apparently, we all know how to talk about the problem but we can’t seem to fix it.

My own father was assassinated and there was never any closure, neither was there any closure on Senator Ninoy Aquino’s assassination. Up to now, we can only suspect who actually had him assassinated. The essential matters, the sense of it all—justice—we have not been able to secure.

We need to have an attitude change in this country once and for all. That attitude has to come out from the fact that we have to learn our history, the fight upon which all our martyrs, including Sen. Aquino, had died for.

We have to start thinking of the common good. We have to think of the national interest. Even if we stumble and fall, we should rise together as a nation and learn from our mistakes. Maybe then can we prove ourselves worthy of all these sacrifices.


Today, we can see how the media and popular culture bombard us with advertisements and obligations that begin with the "self." Seems like everything can be solved if a person do a little act of kindness. One can notice that in the "Ako Mismo" publicity ad and the TV Patrol campaigns. But in my opinion, those kinds of ads only breed the "I've done my part attitude" wherein one person is becoming inattentive of what others do as long as he has contributed something from his own. It doesn't perpetuate "collective action" which I still believe can do a lot.

I do agree with Sen. Gordon's article, we really have to think for the common good as of the moment where our country is on the verge of a fall. And we have to know our history! In one article, I've read that both Jose Rizal and Ninoy Aquino went back to the Philippines to try to stop extremist acts because it is said that the country and the Filipinos are not yet ready for a revolution. But why? I think it is worth knowing the reason and that can be done thru knowing our history. Yes, that can be taxing but its better than endlessly rant about our government.

Hay... There's a lot to do.

????

At anu ang nangyayari, hindi na ako makapag-post?
Hindi.
Nakakapag-post pa rin ako, pero may mali daw dun sa pino-post ko kanina? Anu ba yun?
At ano ang problema ng Blogger? Akala ko pa naman I found the right one.
Ayaw ko pa naman nung mga naglolokong bagay. Bagay lang sila, hindi tao kaya wala silang karapatang magloko.
Hmpt!
Ma-try na nga lang ulit.
Sayang, kung kailan ako ganado mag-post, dun naman ako pinipigilan.
Hay...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

If it kills me

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your girlfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me

Thursday, August 20, 2009

blackboard punishment

I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip.I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip. I will not gossip.
I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone. I will not have any prejudice on anyone.
Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day. Today is a good day.
I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries. I will have no worries.

* Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V were not used

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A new blog?

I have yet created again another blog site. And I'm asking myself why. I already have one in LJ. And of course it is automatic in Multiply. But why do I insist myself in this virtual world? Perhaps, I am still trying to supress my inner frustrations of being a writer.