Hounded

Recently, I am having problems with my mouth. I have a big mouth, figuratively speaking. It gets me into trouble for the past few days. I don't know why. I'm not like this before. I don't know why I got into this state. Is it really in my character? Am I really a blabber? Shouldn't I have more sense? Or recently, I just don't think before I speak? Am I too confident that everything I say will have sense?

I need to change myself. Should I be quieter? Maybe I need to be really pensive before opening my mouth unless I want to suffer misjudgements from people.    

Another distraction

https://twitter.com/ichaninja

I am now on twitter! :)

Hello July!

We are already at the second half of 2012. This is an opportune time to reflect on what I have achieved for the previous half of the year and how much time I still have to attain my wishes (refer to Wishlist for 2012). So far, I am proud to say that I managed to make one "wish" come true, which is Wish # 5 - to learn to play the piano/violin.

Last May, I enrolled in Yamaha's piano lessons so that I can pursue my affinity to playing musical instruments and grant my childhood wish of learning how to play the piano. I am delighted that Yamaha doesn't have a recital after every end of the session because if it has, I'm already dead. hehe Likewise, I am glad that my piano teacher and I get along well since he is also a student of French and a fellow iskolar ng bayan.

I already have completed two piano pieces - "Melody" by Schumann and "Minuet" by Bach. I am on the process of completing the piece entitled "Sonatina" by Muzio Clement.

Although I practice only with a keyboard, I hope to be able to buy a piano someday and have a space for it. Playing the piano is very relaxing and relieves me from stress. I now understand what music does to people.

New chapter

He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

Tomorrow will be the first day of class, at least for me. I will be facing another chapter, not to mention another challenge, in my life as I embark on graduate studies. I know it will be hard. I call it "self-inflicted suffering" since I believe I will be tackling a semester of papers, recitations, reporting, group works, etc., at the same time proving myself to be a good employee by not compromising my duties in the office.

But how hard it may be, I know that it will be worth it. May God guide me and give me wisdom in every class discussion, project or paper. I believe this challenge will not be given to me if I cannot handle it.

Snow White & the Huntsman - A review

Thanks to my sister's free advanced screening tickets, we got to watch Snow White & the Huntsman. The film 's cast is led by Kristen Stewart (Bella of Twilight), Chris Hemsworth (Thor of Avengers), and the South African actress Charlize Theron. 

The movie is a visual treat. It reminded me of The Lord of the Rings. Medieval ages is my favorite period in Western history and this movie made me desire once more to have lived in the said era. However, just like a failed product disguised in beautiful advertisement, what made up for the special effects lacked the depth of the actors concerned. Stewart is the same Bella I saw in probably the worst movie of the Twilight saga (and of Hollywood) - New Moon. I found Charlize Theron a bit of OA. You can be wicked and abominable without exaggerated shouting. Maybe I am just not used to seeing her a kontrabida. Chris Hemsworth's performance here is better than his Thor character. He is believable as a huntsman but I did not see that he was falling for Snow White until the last parts of the movie. 

Just like the recent box-office hit Avengers, Snow White & the Huntsman left me empty. Great movies make you think. Great movies make you say 'what if?' Great movies can send a significant message that can change one's outlook in life. Unfortunately, Snow White & the Huntsman failed to accomplish such.

Success!

Today is a Success! :)

Details will follow.. hehe

Wake-up call

From Those To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected

While on my way to work this morning, I reflected upon the problems that are besetting me: career, post-grad degree, the continuous search for a house of our own, my father's outrageous temper, my future. I constantly search for answers to those thoughts that linger in my mind from time to time. When I wake up every morning, I pray to God to help me solve those preoccupations. Thinking of them, with no clear solutions at hand, makes me feel that I am trapped inside a four-cornered room where no door is at sight. It seems like everything's blurry.

When I arrived at the office, I saw our cleaning lady and had some chit-chat with her. She confessed to me that she still has problems with her ex-husband who does not give their kids some financial support and how her salary can barely provide for the education of her children and their everyday expenses. She wept and expressed her disappointment over the current state she is in and wished that all of it is only a dream. Unfortunately, I do not know how to help her since I also do not have large amount of money to lend to her and help her cope with life's demands.

When I went into my room, my colleague asked a favor from me. She would like to borrow money because his lolo got sick and she cannot withdraw money from her account because it will suffer 10K worth of penalty. I know how hard it is to borrow money. Our family has been through that before. While she was telling me about her predicament, she sounded like she has a lump in her throat. It is obvious that it is difficult for her to make that favor.

I told myself, why have I been worrying on petty things when there are people whose problems are bigger than mine? Why should I be sad when life is really good to me? Maybe it's just that I have to open my eyes to see the good things and be grateful for what I have than continuously let self-defeating self-talk beat me.

Not that knowing how heavy are the problems of other people will make you feel lighter, but it is makes you wake-up to reality: that everyone in this world have their own set of problems and that you do not have the right to burden other people with your excruciating self-pity.

Life is good. It has been and is always good to me. I should not sulk and just be happy. :)

A year older

Before April ends, I would just like to add another post.

I noticed that I have not been posting for the past few weeks. It is partly due to my busyness and to the lack of anything to write about. I will speak on the reason of my busyness on another post.

I was not even able to write on how I celebrated my birthday. Well, it was very simple, as usual. Celebrated it with my family and some of my relatives. I concocted a very nice new spaghetti recipe. Instead of putting ground pork and hotdog, mama and I put mushrooms and chunks of fried chicken.The all-purpose cream made the recipe even more delicious.

Ugh. A year older. Thank you Lord for another year. But that means that I should act older and accept the fact that I am now an adult. Some may wonder why I seem to detest being an adult. It is because I fear losing my dreams. I fear being integrated so much in the system that I would just stay in an easy corner and forget to strive for what I really desire to be. I fear being a very pragmatic person.  True enough, being an adult is a challenge for me.

However, there are other aspects of being an adult that I am proud of. Being an adult lets you face the reality. Though the reality cannot be so good and most probably unfair, it keeps you grounded and lets you see the current situation that you are in, in a bigger picture.

Last Saturday, I stumbled upon one of my diaries during college. I read it from start to end, and I cringed at the thought of my immaturity back then. I was dismayed that I wasted time blabbing about shallow thoughts. Nevertheless, it made me laugh and let me see how I progressed within five years. I reflected on how would I think differently now if ever I was put in the same situations as those in the journal.

It was a truly joyful experience. Going back to the past and seeing how it shaped me, I felt elated. Maybe I should not hate being an adult after all. 

Progress Report

We are near the end of the first quarter of 2012. From time to time, I look at my wishlist for 2012 and see if I already made some progress. My goal is to achieve at least one of them this year, considering that some of them might take some years to materialize. The wishlist also serves as my guide on how should I move my life or what endeavors should I delve myself into for this year.

I recently acquired the habit of listing my daily expenses in a journal. The aim is to monitor where my money is going and what expenses I can cut short, to be able to save more and eventually invest. It can be taxing at times, but when you think of it, you do not solely gain control of your money, but you also train your memory by recalling how your day went in terms of spending. Listing expenses will also help someone to avoid unmindful spending, which can cause damage to one's wallet.

I hope to read more about managing one's finances in the coming weeks. Likewise, I should learn first some investment lingo before jumping into the investing bandwagon. I want to take the process slowly but surely.

Referring to the 2012 Wishlist, I hope to read at least 30 books within the year. So far, I have finished "Who moved my cheese?" (review - to follow). Currently, I spend my idle moment at the MRT reading "12 Little Things Every Filipino can do to Help our Country" by Alex Lacson. It's a small book though I have not finished it yet. I try not to finish it for the sake of finishing it. I hope to enliven the tasks suggested by Mr. Lacson, and consequently make it a habit.

Looking at it makes me say "what a slow progress?!" hehe Well, I should read some more and manage my time well. Or should I enroll in a speed reading class?

Ache

This morning, I received a bad news: second disappointment of the year. I wonder how many disappointments I will suffer throughout the year.

Ok, enough of the negative vibes. Good thing I already prepared myself for whatever that may come so I am not so much depressed. Yet, another hole was again left in my heart, though not so deep to the point that it will suck all my energies and love for life like a black hole.

For now, I will continue to hold on and chase my dreams. I will continue to believe that once a door closes, two windows open. haha I will continue to be on lookout for more opportunities to improve myself. I will continue to have faith. 

On Valentine's day and being busy

It's already the middle of February and I have yet to come up with my second post for 2012. The past few weeks have been very much busy. I was tasked to organize my first cultural event. The opening of the said event was held last night at the Museum of the Filipino People. I am glad that it did turn out well, although it could have been better. But seeing the Ambassador happy with it is enough for me.

Angel (our intern) and me

Prior to the opening of that event, I dreaded the approach of February 14. Aside from the said date being Valentine's Day, it meant for me the eve of the "Big Day," where everything should be polished and make sure that a lot of people would come to our launching. I even forgot that it was the Day of the Hearts ( a literal translation of Araw ng mga Puso), and only remembered it on the day itself.  Although no one gave me roses nor chocolates, Feb. 14 this year was a happy day for me. We discreetly celebrated it with my family by cooking pasta and having ice cream as a dessert. We seldom eat ice cream and we really try hard not to, as we try to take care of our figures (figures daw! hahaha) and our calories. Thus, having ice cream at dinner is already a celebration for us.
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I hope to be less busy after Sunday. I have a lot of plans and much to do for the rest of the year. But I hope to write one post  at least every month. Maybe, this should not be a big challenge for me.