On Changes

The second half of the year is very crucial for me, as well as to a number of people I know. My heart thumps just thinking about the foreboding changes in my everyday life.

As far as I am concerned, the second half of the year signals the arrival of a new boss, our family's transfer to a new home, additional graduate courses to take, return of an esteemed friend and the departure of another one, and a highly-monitored income. Nevertheless, I am excited about how these changes can possibly transform me into a better person, and a mature one at that.  I am optimistic that letting go of the past and moving out of your comfort zone will only help you achieve greater things. As on quotation says, "Achievement is the enemy of comfort."

A heart's desire

Sometimes, you just long for someone to whom you can tell everything.

New chapter

He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

Tomorrow will be the first day of class, at least for me. I will be facing another chapter, not to mention another challenge, in my life as I embark on graduate studies. I know it will be hard. I call it "self-inflicted suffering" since I believe I will be tackling a semester of papers, recitations, reporting, group works, etc., at the same time proving myself to be a good employee by not compromising my duties in the office.

But how hard it may be, I know that it will be worth it. May God guide me and give me wisdom in every class discussion, project or paper. I believe this challenge will not be given to me if I cannot handle it.

Snow White & the Huntsman - A review

Thanks to my sister's free advanced screening tickets, we got to watch Snow White & the Huntsman. The film 's cast is led by Kristen Stewart (Bella of Twilight), Chris Hemsworth (Thor of Avengers), and the South African actress Charlize Theron. 

The movie is a visual treat. It reminded me of The Lord of the Rings. Medieval ages is my favorite period in Western history and this movie made me desire once more to have lived in the said era. However, just like a failed product disguised in beautiful advertisement, what made up for the special effects lacked the depth of the actors concerned. Stewart is the same Bella I saw in probably the worst movie of the Twilight saga (and of Hollywood) - New Moon. I found Charlize Theron a bit of OA. You can be wicked and abominable without exaggerated shouting. Maybe I am just not used to seeing her a kontrabida. Chris Hemsworth's performance here is better than his Thor character. He is believable as a huntsman but I did not see that he was falling for Snow White until the last parts of the movie. 

Just like the recent box-office hit Avengers, Snow White & the Huntsman left me empty. Great movies make you think. Great movies make you say 'what if?' Great movies can send a significant message that can change one's outlook in life. Unfortunately, Snow White & the Huntsman failed to accomplish such.

Wake-up call

From Those To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected

While on my way to work this morning, I reflected upon the problems that are besetting me: career, post-grad degree, the continuous search for a house of our own, my father's outrageous temper, my future. I constantly search for answers to those thoughts that linger in my mind from time to time. When I wake up every morning, I pray to God to help me solve those preoccupations. Thinking of them, with no clear solutions at hand, makes me feel that I am trapped inside a four-cornered room where no door is at sight. It seems like everything's blurry.

When I arrived at the office, I saw our cleaning lady and had some chit-chat with her. She confessed to me that she still has problems with her ex-husband who does not give their kids some financial support and how her salary can barely provide for the education of her children and their everyday expenses. She wept and expressed her disappointment over the current state she is in and wished that all of it is only a dream. Unfortunately, I do not know how to help her since I also do not have large amount of money to lend to her and help her cope with life's demands.

When I went into my room, my colleague asked a favor from me. She would like to borrow money because his lolo got sick and she cannot withdraw money from her account because it will suffer 10K worth of penalty. I know how hard it is to borrow money. Our family has been through that before. While she was telling me about her predicament, she sounded like she has a lump in her throat. It is obvious that it is difficult for her to make that favor.

I told myself, why have I been worrying on petty things when there are people whose problems are bigger than mine? Why should I be sad when life is really good to me? Maybe it's just that I have to open my eyes to see the good things and be grateful for what I have than continuously let self-defeating self-talk beat me.

Not that knowing how heavy are the problems of other people will make you feel lighter, but it is makes you wake-up to reality: that everyone in this world have their own set of problems and that you do not have the right to burden other people with your excruciating self-pity.

Life is good. It has been and is always good to me. I should not sulk and just be happy. :)

A year older

Before April ends, I would just like to add another post.

I noticed that I have not been posting for the past few weeks. It is partly due to my busyness and to the lack of anything to write about. I will speak on the reason of my busyness on another post.

I was not even able to write on how I celebrated my birthday. Well, it was very simple, as usual. Celebrated it with my family and some of my relatives. I concocted a very nice new spaghetti recipe. Instead of putting ground pork and hotdog, mama and I put mushrooms and chunks of fried chicken.The all-purpose cream made the recipe even more delicious.

Ugh. A year older. Thank you Lord for another year. But that means that I should act older and accept the fact that I am now an adult. Some may wonder why I seem to detest being an adult. It is because I fear losing my dreams. I fear being integrated so much in the system that I would just stay in an easy corner and forget to strive for what I really desire to be. I fear being a very pragmatic person.  True enough, being an adult is a challenge for me.

However, there are other aspects of being an adult that I am proud of. Being an adult lets you face the reality. Though the reality cannot be so good and most probably unfair, it keeps you grounded and lets you see the current situation that you are in, in a bigger picture.

Last Saturday, I stumbled upon one of my diaries during college. I read it from start to end, and I cringed at the thought of my immaturity back then. I was dismayed that I wasted time blabbing about shallow thoughts. Nevertheless, it made me laugh and let me see how I progressed within five years. I reflected on how would I think differently now if ever I was put in the same situations as those in the journal.

It was a truly joyful experience. Going back to the past and seeing how it shaped me, I felt elated. Maybe I should not hate being an adult after all. 

On Valentine's day and being busy

It's already the middle of February and I have yet to come up with my second post for 2012. The past few weeks have been very much busy. I was tasked to organize my first cultural event. The opening of the said event was held last night at the Museum of the Filipino People. I am glad that it did turn out well, although it could have been better. But seeing the Ambassador happy with it is enough for me.

Angel (our intern) and me

Prior to the opening of that event, I dreaded the approach of February 14. Aside from the said date being Valentine's Day, it meant for me the eve of the "Big Day," where everything should be polished and make sure that a lot of people would come to our launching. I even forgot that it was the Day of the Hearts ( a literal translation of Araw ng mga Puso), and only remembered it on the day itself.  Although no one gave me roses nor chocolates, Feb. 14 this year was a happy day for me. We discreetly celebrated it with my family by cooking pasta and having ice cream as a dessert. We seldom eat ice cream and we really try hard not to, as we try to take care of our figures (figures daw! hahaha) and our calories. Thus, having ice cream at dinner is already a celebration for us.
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I hope to be less busy after Sunday. I have a lot of plans and much to do for the rest of the year. But I hope to write one post  at least every month. Maybe, this should not be a big challenge for me.

Happy New Year! Good vibes for 2012!

2011 was a very good year for me, indeed. A year of high hopes, shattered and fulfilled goals, shocking discoveries, and open windows of opportunity. 2012 will be a better, exciting year. It will be a year of major self-development and dreams-come-true. Gotta love 2012!

Cheers to the year ahead! :D

On writing

What would you do with all that knowledge if you can't translate it on paper?

Writing has been a big dream for me, specifically writing for a certain magazine or periodical. However, in the 22 years of my life, I have never yet tried to submit a written piece of my mind to any journal or publication. I mused on contributing articles to principal newspapers in the country and daydreamed of seeing my name on the editorial box of a lifestyle magazine. The farthest my writing has gone to is the office's official newsletter.

When I was in college, I remember talking to one of my roommates about the joy of reading. I told her that I love to read and learn a lot of things and let those linger inside my mind and that I would be fine without sharing it to other people. I told her that I did not like to teach and share my knowledge since I know how hard a teaching profession can be. Likewise, I did not want to write, specially after recently suffering a dismal average I got from a creative writing class. My roommate retorted that all the knowledge I acquired shall go to waste if I intended to just store it inside my head and keep it to myself.

Today, as much as I would like to share it, I am having a hard time on organizing my thoughts to be able to share my opinion and supporting it with things I've learned or read in the past. Sometimes, I cannot believe that I am like this despite having a college diploma from a very reputable university. Is it the standard of education in this country or I am just underestimating myself?

The trials of today are stepping stones to a brighter tomorrow

Shit happens.

That's the truth I realized outside school.

In the University, everything seem to be carefree, everything seem to be so fine. After school and after I started working, I came to discover the said cruel world. I came to see cruel people can be. I was so naive that I always believed in the goodness of the human beings' heart.

However, that belief failed me.

Nevertheless, I learned, and those in-your-face situations that showed me how mankind is and how much more effort should I give in to toughening up myself are, believe it or not, gifts from God. I see them as the little stones that God throws at me to serve as my guide towards the dream that He has for me. It's as if I am Gretel and He's the Hansel walking by my side while throwing stones to the ground so that I would not lose my way.

Amidst those difficulties and situations that my belief in the goodness of people failed me, I pray that the Lord give me a strong heart, that He make me more assertive in dealing with others and that hopefully, I will not lose this single string that maintains my urge to largely help the people of my country in the future.

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Hay... For the moment, I can just conclude that writing and pouring out my true feelings can be a great stress reliever.

Happy weekend.

For the graduates

I made this post more than a year ago, just before I finish college. Though this post can be very old, I find it very timely. :)

"How do you see the process from where you are now to where you want to be? Because whatever you want to do, it's not only what you want to do, but how the practical way you see it coming about, if you were to write down the 10 steps, from where you are now to where you want to be."


- Margaret Thatcher

I got the quote while reading the transcript of a film we viewed in my Econ 31 class. It was from Margaret Thatcher, the former Prime Minister of Great Britain. She stated it while having a meeting and reaching out to Solidarity chair, Lech Walesa who wanted the workers be freed from the communist regime of Poland and create a free workers union during the 1980s.

I just found the quote enlightening and timely. Since I will be graduating this April (hopefully! *thesis pa*), I felt a need to look at where would I want to be 5 to 10 years from now and how will I be able to get into that "perfect destination."

I remember, back in my sophomore years, I already had in mind what will I do after I finish college. How will I get my dream job, the things I should do in order to attain that, etc. As graduation approaches, all those plans seem to blur before my eyes. I realized how imperfect the world is. Perhaps, that's how life ought to be, pulling off your plans even if you're surrounded by adversities.

Good luck to me!

let go and let live

Today, I learned a very important lesson. That is to let go and let live.

I used to be a control freak. I always want to have a control on things, and sadly but not frequently, on people. I always want to make sure that everything is alright and everything and everyone goes according to my plan. I hate anything unpredictable. I hate guessing what's next.

I do not know why I came up to be like that. Perhaps, that is one of the most common "first-born syndromes". It felt like the responsibility of keeping things smooth-sailing in the long-run is on me which might be a source of my early years-frustrations.

But just this afternoon, I learned to breathe and relax. I realized that I need to let people as they are (well, of course, not those Filipinos who contribute to the detriment of our country), the things important to them and should not be imposing on others. I need to care for what others may feel and treat everyone as fragile as they can be.

To be peaceful, it is a must to let others be in peace, just like letting a loved one who passed away not to worry about our feelings and accept that they are gone. To enjoy life, I must accept ambiguities and of course, other people's decisions for their OWN lives just like how they have accepted my decisions.

And for this, I express my gratitude to my youngest sister for making me realize what have I been missing in my life.

"almost two weeks" notice

Ako ay nagbalik...hahahaha


Matagal-tagal din ako hindi nakapag-post dito. Muntik na umabot sa dalawang linggo. Pero sa loob ng maraming araw na yon, ano bang ginawa ko? Hmmm... Bukod sa busy-busyhan sa trabaho, nagbasa-basa rin ako ng blog ng ibang tao, gaya ng blog ni Jim Paredes, Jessica Zafra, ng aking kaibigan na si Chevy at RC at ng isang Spanish expat (?) na si Manolo Perez. Nakakalungkot lang dahil naka-block na ata dito sa office yung site ni Jim Paredes. Magaganda pa naman at masarap basahin ang mga post niya dun kahit na nabasa ko na sa The Philippine Star.
Pero ngayon naaliw ako sa official blog ni Jessica Zafra. Ang dami na kasi niyang post at followers. Nakakaaliw.=)
Sana kasing-galing niya ako magsulat at kasing-ganda ng blog niya yung akin.

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reporter's block

If there's what we call writer's block, then for me, there is "reporter's block."

[Topic! Topic! I need a topic!]

My French class requires each one of us to present a topic in front of the class, any topic that we would like to speak about. Of course, there are conditions: 1). the topic should interest us, 2). it should interest the listeners.

The second condition is the thing that occupies most of my mind for the past days.

What topic would interest two Filipino senior citizens, one Spanish lady in her early twenties, 2 Americans in their mid-twenties, and a French professor in his 30s?

The first topic that occupied my mind is the story of Anne Frank. Maybe because I was just fresh from watching La Vita e Bella which tells of the Nazi occupation in Italy. But I doubt that I know more about it than my listeners, since the majority seem to be older than me. Of course, they know a lot about it [history books, movies, reads].

And then the second one is "Blogs as a literature." But I'm an amateur in the world of blogging so I may not know much about it and I haven't tried blog-hopping. Moreover, I think I have to have a position in that topic and it will be hard for me to defend that in French.
[Ooops... I forgot to tell that we'll be reporting the topic in French.]

Next is Sudoku, but I'm not good at playing it, therefore I might not sound credible.

Then the next one is talking about platypuses. I found those animals interesting and weird so it must be fun to talk about it. But then again, it's weird to talk about platypuses! They might give me an odd look. And if I talk about it, the words that describe it in French are really hard to pronounce. But I want to talk about it but it's really weird.

I'm searching for a topic that would engage the people in those age groups and topic that would stimulate thinking.

AHHHHH!!!

Goodluck to me on Saturday.

Eto ang artworks sa MS Paint ng isang taong frustrated maging graphic artist at sabik na sa Adobe Photoshop.
Sobrang masaya talaga ako kapag ako'y nag-dodrowing, gumagawa ng poster sa Photoshop, nagpipinta ng kung anu-ano sa MS Paint. Eto na ata ang future ko.hahaha
Sa totoo lang, gusto ko talaga kumuha ng course on Multimedia Arts o kaya naman mag-apply dun sa mga maliliit na shops na gumagawa ng mga banner kapag birthday party ng mga bata o kaya yung tiga-gawa ng souvenir designs sa binyag, kasal etc. Ang chaka kasi nung mga nakikita ko..hahahaha [ang salbahe ko]
Kaya nga lang, kulang sa time at sa pera. Ah bahala na, sabi nga nila, "Kung gusto, may paraan, kung ayaw, may dahilan." In the meantime, pagbubutihin ko na muna ang MS Paint skills ko.

????

At anu ang nangyayari, hindi na ako makapag-post?
Hindi.
Nakakapag-post pa rin ako, pero may mali daw dun sa pino-post ko kanina? Anu ba yun?
At ano ang problema ng Blogger? Akala ko pa naman I found the right one.
Ayaw ko pa naman nung mga naglolokong bagay. Bagay lang sila, hindi tao kaya wala silang karapatang magloko.
Hmpt!
Ma-try na nga lang ulit.
Sayang, kung kailan ako ganado mag-post, dun naman ako pinipigilan.
Hay...